


Five Things We Never Say to People We Love but We Should

by canadiankazz



Category: L.A. By Night (Web Series), Vampire: The Masquerade
Genre: Dancing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Prayer, Sharing a Bed, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 11:14:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiankazz/pseuds/canadiankazz
Summary: Five, mostly unconnected, little Jeva ficlets inspired by a list by Malanda Jean-Claude. Contains spoilers through to the end of Season 3.





	Five Things We Never Say to People We Love but We Should

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a thing that came across my tumblr dash of “5 things we never say to people we love but we should” by Malanda Jean-Claude. It instantly made me think of Jeva. These are five, mostly unconnected little ficlets, each under 400 words. I could probably write different stuff for each of these prompts again, and for different characters too. I might do so one day, but for now, this is what I’ve got. Contains spoilers through the end of Season 3. Please enjoy.

_1\. It is an honour that we exist in the same space and time didn’t choose to separate us by eons._

“Have you ever thought about… now nice it is that we both ended up in this same city at the same time?” Eva asks. They are leaning against each other, holding hands, watching the sparkling city laid out before them. The Pacific is a black line on the distant horizon. Eva’s tone is dreamy and wistful with the painkillers in her blood. “I mean… I died so long ago… before you were born… and on the other side of the country…”

“Mmm.” Jasper nuzzles her. His thumb strokes the back of her hand. “No, I haven’t really thought about that.” He doesn’t want to think about it.

“And… without all that, we never would have met each other. Do… do you think it was worth it?”

He frowns. “Was what worth it?”

“Dying… being embraced… worth it to meet me? To be here, now?”

Jasper licks his fangs, sharp and distracting in his mouth, and doesn't answer right away. “Do you think it was?”

She doesn’t answer right away either.

They are quiet for a long minute.

“I think that… us having each other might make our curses a little more bearable,” Eva eventually whispers. “And that… it is an honour that we exist in the same space... and time didn’t choose to separate us by eons.”

Jasper squeezes her hand. “I think… you’re probably right about that.”

* * *

_2\. The world is a better place with you in it_.

In the privacy of his sanctum, Eva checks on the stake wound in Jasper’s chest. It’s been slow and painful to mend. It’s been a week now, and she can still see gore inside. She doesn’t touch it. She knows it hurts him.

Eva tuts and shakes her head. Jasper has been self-destructive for as long as she’s known him. He’s always putting himself between her and danger, as if sacrificing himself would please her. She wishes she had a way to make him heal faster, or at least be in less pain. The balm she made last time only works on burns, not on vicious, bloody holes.

“Part of me still doesn’t know why,” Jasper rumbles. Eva looks up into his face. She doesn’t bother to hide her concern for him.

“Why what?” she asks softly.

“Why everyone risked so much to save me. It wasn’t worth it.”

Eva strokes his cheek. “I think it was worth it,” she says in the same soft tone. “I know you don’t believe so, but the world is a better place with you in it, Jasper.”

He closes his eyes and leans into her. He wants to believe it, but he can’t. “I uh… I’ve always believed that about you, but…”

“But not about yourself?”

Jasper shakes his head.

Eva hugs him close, mindful of his injury. One of these nights, she promises herself, she will make him believe it.

* * *

_3\. Laughing with you plucks anxiety out of my heart, you are a gift to my lungs._

He catches her dancing one night, twirling in her sanctum to a record spinning on an antique record player. He smiles and leans against the door frame, watching her. She is ethereal, an angel with fangs, and he can’t help put picture her in a kaleidoscope of colour under a disco ball.

Eva beckons him towards her with a coy curl of her finger and a smile on her lips. Jasper shakes his head no. Eva pouts at him, her eyes pleading. She twirls again, as if to gesture to the whole room. It’s just her and him here. There’s no teasing crowd. It’s just them and the music.

Eva reaches for his hand and he gives it with a sigh. Jasper is pulled in close and they sway together. His body was not made for dancing, but he has a sense of rhythm. He spins her and she laughs. It’s a joyous sound. It makes him smile and chuckle in turn.

Eva beams in his arms. She’s heard him laugh before, but never with happiness. He laughs in terrible situations, never nice ones. Those are so few and far between.

Eva presses her body close to his to speak into his ear. “I like your smile. I like your laugh too.”

“I, uh…” Jasper stiffens. She can tell he wants to pull away, reluctant to believe compliments, but he resists that instinct. “Thank you.”

“Laughing with you makes me feel a little less anxious. Will you dip me?”

“W-what?”

“Dip me,” Eva giggles, leaning back against one of his arms. The dip is awkward and brings forth more laughter. He manages not to drop her though, and he’s proud of that.

“I’m not a dancer,” he says as the song ends. “Sorry.”

Eva gives him a peck on the cheek, rewarding him for the little bit of dancing he was willing to do for her, and for the laugh they shared. 

* * *

_4\. Your past is not a threat, it’s what brought you to me._

Jasper and Eva share his narrow bed. He spoons her with their backs to the door. Tonight has been bad for her anxiety. She clutches at Jasper’s hand in the darkness. Dawn is coming. Sleep is pulling at their bodies, but she is trying to fight it.

“I don’t want to sleep,” she whimpers. “The nightmares have been bad.”

“What are they about?”

“Strauss… the horrible things he’s done… the horrible things he still can do… I’ve brought him here... he’ll surely kill you and the others…”

“Shh…” Jasper soothes her, best he can. “You didn’t bring Strauss here. He came with Vannevar. We’d be in trouble with him even if you weren’t here.”

Eva is quiet for several moments, her body tense. “I still think that… if you do want to leave… you should. He’ll go after me and leave you alone.”

“I’m not leaving you alone to deal with him,” Jasper says firmly. “Think of it this way; if someone dangerous from my past appeared, you wouldn't leave me alone to deal with it, right?”

Eva blinks in the darkness. “No…”

“No,” Jasper confirms. “So why would I leave you just because your past has come back to haunt you? Our pasts brought us together and we’ll face them together. They’ll be less of a threat that way.”

It sounds easier than it will be. Both Jasper and Eva know that. For now though, it’s enough to help Eva relax a little. Jasper kisses her hair.

“I’ll be right here when you wake up. I promise. I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers.

Eva kisses his knuckles in response. “Thank you.”

They cannot resist the dawn, but at least this time, some of the nightmares are kept at bay.

* * *

_5\. I pray about you, still._

Eva’s family had been Christian. They had forced her to attend Sunday school for many years. Eva has never seen any proof of God in this world of monsters. What loving God would allow creatures like them to exist? A lifetime of unanswered prayers prompted Eva to give up prayer altogether a long time ago.

Now though, decades later, Eva sometimes finds herself wanting to pray again. It had started the night Annabelle told her that Jasper had been taken by the Ivory Tower. She still finds herself occasionally asking for some kind of blessing she isn’t sure she deserves.

The bedroom is still and dark. Jasper has already fallen asleep. His body is a cold corpse in her arms. Eva can feel the pull of sleep on herself, and knows she will soon have to follow him into the darkness, but she’s forced herself into a final moment of consciousness for this little task. Eva’s white fingers trace protective runes onto Jasper’s still chest. Without the magic of Vitae, these runes will have no effect, but she feels better for having drawn them anyway. Her lips mouth silent words that she’s not sure anyone, alive, dead or otherwise, can hear.

“I still don’t know if You’ll hear me but… please, please keep him safe. Keep him with me and me with him. Please may we make it through this together. If we don’t deserve happiness or peace, then let us burn, but if we can be at all happy and safe, please let it be so… please…”

Eva rests her head against Jasper’s shoulder and closes her eyes. She lays one pale arm protectively across his chest. The smallest of ironic smiles crosses her face before she succumbs to sleep. If there was anyone whom she would still pray about, it would be him.


End file.
